Dating should be an enjoyable part of everyone’s life. However, it can be scary especially if you’ve been out of the game for a while. Finding the right person, one whose spirit compliments yours takes time and patience. To save you some of the trouble, we’ve come up with a list of red flags that will help you discern the potential dates from the wrong ones.
1. Moving too fast too soon
If within a few weeks you move from barely knowing each other to, ‘I love you’, this might be a red flag. Rushing to “become official” could be misconstrued as a sign of desperation. Nobody wants to be thought of as being desperate to be in a relationship. When you move too fast, you might end up getting disappointed when you finally realise that the two of you are incompatible. Instead, be patient and enjoy the process.
2. They won’t define the relationship
Often, people go out for a few months before becoming official. A couple of months should be enough for you to know if you want a future with this person or not. It is important to talk and find out where the relationship is going. If, after some months, your partner is still uncertain as to if he wants you in his life, then you should move on.
3. Keeping secrets
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One of the points of dating is getting to know your partner better, the good, bad and ugly. You need to share important life details which you know can make or break the relationship. Important topics that should be covered sooner rather than later include marital status, children, religious affiliation, what you’re looking for in the relationship, etc. Keeping any of these things secret will lead to loss of trust and heartbreak.
4. Poor communication
Communication is an important component of any relationship. And now with social media, there are multiple platforms through which people can converse. If he always waits for you to call or text, only calls you at night (hello booty call) or he gets upset when you call at certain times of the day, calls too much (tracking your every movement all in the name of love) then you have a problem. It’s important to discuss your communication needs early on to avoid any misunderstandings.
5. Something doesn’t feel right
Sometimes you know something isn’t right even if you can’t explain how. If, after many attempts to find the good in this person, something is still nagging you, slow down and find out what it is. Your intuition is very powerful and it will try to warn you of situations that aren’t meant for you. When you are truly happy, you are meant to feel it in your spirit. Don’t force things. You are better off with someone who truly makes you happy.
These points don’t apply to every situation. Couples are different and what didn’t work for one couple might work for another.
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